You Are Not Broken
April 17, 2021
you are not broken
“You are not broken” is often the first thing I tell my new clients. Why? Because that’s the first thing they need to realize. With all the social stigma surrounding so-called “mental illness”, people with mental or emotional challenges often feel like there is something wrong with them. The truth of the matter is that their mind and body are working perfectly to produce the symptoms they are experiencing. Whether it be anxiety, depression, or some other issue, they are doing a perfect job of producing the symptoms that go along with it. That’s right! These conditions are merely symptoms of the problem… not the problem itself.
The first response I usually get after telling someone “you are not broken” is a look of confusion, accompanied by a sigh of relief. They’re relieved to hear that there’s really nothing wrong with them, but confused about why they feel like there is. It’s like, “Really? Do you mean I’m NOT messed up in the head in some way?” That’s exactly what I mean. Underneath all that “junk” you’re dealing with; you are 100% perfect! You just don’t realize it… yet. My job is to help you realize it, and to help you make changes to the things that are making you feel otherwise.
A true story
A few years ago I had a client who I’ll call Dave. Dave had been seeing a psychologist once a week for over 6 years – and not improving one bit. When he heard me say “you are not broken”, he almost fell off the chair! I went on to explain why he was not broken, and followed that with about a 90-minute session. After leaving my office, he called his psychologist and promptly fired her! We went on to do a few more sessions to address his real problem and he hasn’t needed to come back since. Problem solved. So what did I do that the psychologist didn’t? I helped Dave to realize that the things he was experiencing were merely symptoms of an underlying issue that had not been addressed. Once we addressed the underlying issue, his symptoms went away.
I have a saying: “The problem is not the problem. How you’re thinking about the problem… that’s the problem.” This has proven to be true for every person I’ve ever worked with. If you think that anxiety or depression is your problem, that’s the first misunderstanding. Although problematic, they are only symptoms of the way you are thinking. When you change the way you’re thinking, you will change the way you feel… always. Once you learn a better way to think about things that make you feel badly, you will be in complete control of how you feel. Feelings are always generated by thoughts. Always.
beliefs are powerful
However, there is one more level that underlies even our thoughts, and that is our beliefs. Beliefs are the core motivators that trigger our thoughts, and subsequently, our feelings and behaviors. Most people never really examine their beliefs, they just live by them. And this is the biggest problem of all. The Greek philosopher Socrates said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” Truer words were never spoken. Millions of people have given their lives for their beliefs. Beliefs are more powerful than any weapon or medication on the planet. Yet, most people don’t really know why they believe what they believe. Like pre-programmed robots, they follow a belief system that is in many cases, outdated and obsolete. And the most interesting part is, a huge part of that belief system was learned within the first 7 years of life!
our mental foundation
What is significant about the first 7 years of a child’s life? Here are some facts you may find interesting. During the first 2 years, a child’s brainwaves are in what is called the Theta state. The Theta state (4-8 Hz) is identical to that of sleep, or a deep hypnotic state. It is open to receiving information without resistance of any kind. This is why young children can learn so many things so quickly. Their little brains are like sponges, soaking up everything that comes along – without questioning anything. It’s also why they can learn a foreign language so easily and quickly. Between the ages of 2 – 7, their brainwaves gradually speed up to the Alpha state (8-12 Hz), and ultimately the Beta state (12-35 Hz).
The further up the frequency goes, the more the brain begins to question and analyze things. As a child reaches around 7 years of age, they no longer naively accept everything as being true. But everything they learned before that age, is locked into their sub-conscious mind, and still affecting their thoughts and behaviors… right into adulthood!
the childish adult
This is why you may see an adult throwing a “childish” tantrum when they get angry. It was a behavior that they learned as a child that got them the attention or results that they wanted. The behavior may have seemed cute or harmless as a little kid, but as an adult it can be devastating to relationships of all kinds. And this is where hypnotherapy can be so beneficial. As mentioned in the paragraph above, the Theta state and the deep hypnotic state are identical. When we reach the Theta state in the hypnotic process, we are able to access (remember) those old, outdated beliefs that are causing adult problems. Very often the client benefits greatly by simply understanding how, when, and where they learned a troublesome belief or behavior. It can be a very liberating experience.
you are not broken
So as you can see, just because a symptom such as anxiety, depression, or whatever may be troublesome, it does not mean that you are broken. All the pieces are in place, and working perfectly to create those symptoms. Changing one’s beliefs or thoughts is not a difficult thing to do – with the right guidance. For some people it may require only a couple of sessions. For others it may take multiple sessions to get things sorted out, depending upon the complexity of the issues involved. But either way, you are not broken. You already have the internal tools to take back the control of your life. You just need to learn how to use them… and it’s my job to teach you.